I remember the blank look on my doctor's face when he asked me, "So what's bothering you?" and I answered, "Oh, everything is fine, I'm here to just make sure I continue being healthy." His surprise, while understandable, also saddened me. I was hoping he'd be more encouraging of me proactively coming in for a check-up while I was still feeling good. Instead, I felt nearly reprimanded when he told me that unless I had a symptom or some kind of discomfort, there wasn't much he could do for me.
This left me wondering not only about what preventative medicine for the body looks like but also for the mind.
“What if we would work on our mental resilience before we experience depression, burnout, or mid-life crises?”
“What if employers recommended their employees to see a coach before they noticed them unable to handle the pressure they are under?” or
“What if couples sought out a therapist when things were still feeling strong and secure in the relationship, instead of waiting until things are already falling apart?”
Surely, prevention must be a more fortuitous route to staying healthy than waiting until life has taken a toll on us and only then starting to search for a cure.
When it comes to sickness, prevention is better than cure. This principle applies to both our physical well-being and mental health. It seems obvious written down, but actually, living by this wisdom is a whole other game.
We know we should maintain a healthy lifestyle to prevent illnesses, but it’s hard to have the discipline, focus, and knowledge to sustainably do it. Of equal, if not greater importance, is working on our mindsets when we are healthy rather than waiting until we're in the thick of challenges and in over our heads to start doing so.
The mental strength required to persevere and find balance when you get knocked down by challenges is called resilience. And to only start working on developing resilience when you are knocked down—well, that's just about the hardest scenario I can imagine working through.
This blog will help you explore the benefits of cultivating resilience, self-awareness, and other essential mental skills before life becomes a muddy mess, leaving you better prepared to handle tough situations with grace and strength.
The Importance of a Proactive Approach
Why mental preparation matters
Mental preparation is a crucial aspect of navigating life's challenges and maintaining overall mental well-being. By proactively working on our mindset and mental skills, we equip ourselves with the necessary tools and strategies to handle stress, make sound decisions, and bounce back from setbacks.
Mental preparation enables us to face adversity with confidence, adaptability, and a sense of balance. This proactive approach to mental health allows us to better understand ourselves, improve our relationships, and ultimately lead a more fulfilling life.
What are the consequences of neglecting our mental well-being?
When we neglect our mental well-being, we leave ourselves vulnerable to a range of negative consequences. These may include:
Increased stress and anxiety: A lack of mental preparedness can make it difficult to manage stress effectively, leading to heightened anxiety levels.
Poor decision-making: Without the skills to stay balanced when under stress and pressure, our ability to make informed decisions can be hindered, resulting in unfavorable outcomes for us and potentially others in our lives as well.
Reduced bounce-back: Neglecting our mental well-being can weaken our ability to stand back up when faced with adversity, making it harder to recover and thrive.
Strained relationships: A lack of self-awareness and emotional intelligence can lead to communication difficulties and conflicts in our personal and professional relationships.
Lower life satisfaction: As our mental well-being suffers, we may experience a decline in overall happiness and satisfaction.
The power of a proactive mindset
Embracing the idea that prevention is better than cure allows for a proactive mindset, which empowers us to take control of our mental health and personal growth. By actively nurturing mental skills such as resilience, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence, we build a strong foundation that enables us to effectively face life's ups and downs.
The power of a proactive mindset lies in its ability to transform our outlook on life, allowing us to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. Moreover, it fosters a sense of personal responsibility for our mental well-being, motivating us to make the necessary investments in ourselves to ensure long-term mental health and happiness.
Building Resilience When You're Healthy
First, let's define what resilience is: it's the ability to adapt and recover from stress or adversity. It involves maintaining a sense of balance, effectively navigating through difficult situations, and bouncing back from setbacks.
Resilience isn't an innate quality but rather a skill that anyone can develop and hone over time. By building resilience when you're healthy, you prepare yourself to face life's challenges with greater ease and confidence.
It's incredibly hard to do this when you are down. The easiest example I can compare to is imagining going to the gym when you are sick. It's just impossible. And not good for you. The same applies to working on resilience when you are feeling low, exhausted, or have lost your motivation.
What are the benefits of working on mental skills when you're healthy?
Focusing on mental skills while you're healthy has numerous advantages. When life is more stable, we have the time, energy, and clarity of thought to engage in self-improvement activities. By investing in our mental well-being during these times, we build a strong foundation that allows us to face life's challenges with confidence and skilfulness.
Some benefits of using phases when you are health to work on mental skills include:
Enhanced mental clarity: The ability to bounce back from adversity and maintain a sense of balance during tough times.
Improved emotional intelligence: Understanding and managing emotions effectively, leading to better relationships and decision-making.
Increased self-awareness: Recognizing personal strengths and weaknesses, allowing for more informed decisions and personal growth.
Better stress management: Developing effective coping strategies that can be employed during challenging situations.
Greater overall well-being: A strong mindset contributes to a happier, more fulfilling life.
Strategies to Cultivate Resilience During Times of Stability
To build resilience during times of stability, it's essential to engage in activities and practices that contribute to our mental well-being. Some strategies to cultivate resilience include:
A. Self-awareness
It all starts and ends with developing an understanding of what stresses you and the impact that it has on you. Difficult situations affect each of us in different ways, so unpacking the specific effect that triggers have on you is the starting point.
This includes knowing where the line is between stress that motivates you versus stress that overwhelms you (see blog on good zone versus terror zone stress), as well as specifically understanding how stress impacts you when it does get into that overwhelming stage (see blog on signs and symptoms of stress and how to manage it).
B. Mental clarity
The key here is to be able to identify your thoughts and learn the techniques for shifting your perspective when the focus of your attention is currently not helpful. This is unbelievably hard to do when we are in the midst of a difficult situation where, while a mindset shift is needed, being able to think of one and actually embrace it feels next to impossible.
Sometimes called reframing and rooted in the idea of a Growth Mindset, the technique here is to use helpful prompts that allow you to see the situation you are in through a different lens. This often results in a realisation that things might not be as bad as they seem.
We also discover that we have options we previously didn't consider, and we increase our understanding and empathy towards the role that we and others have in creating the current situation.
Some of my favorite perspective-shifting prompts include:
How am I likely to view this situation in 5 hours/days/months?
If my best friend was in this situation or telling me about it, how would I advise them?
If this situation was meant to teach me something, what would that be?
I also find drawing on personal and true positive affirmations to be a powerful way to shift perspectives. You need to find ones that authentically resonate for you, but once you do, they can sound something like:
I am capable and competent, and I can handle this situation with ease.
I am worthy of love and respect, and I will not let this situation define me.
I trust my intuition and inner wisdom to guide me through this challenging time.
C. Develop a strong support network
Foster relationships with friends, loved ones, and colleagues who can provide you with emotional support and encouragement during challenging times. Particularly, take a moment to reflect on the types of support you have and notice who comes to mind for each of the following situations:
Emotional support: Someone to lean on when you had a difficult day and want to just unload all your emotions to an open and understanding ear.
Acts of service: Someone who can help you out with practical tasks when you are in need, like moving apartments or being picked up from the airport.
Mentoring and advice: Someone who can share with you their life experiences as a way of mentoring and developing your skillfulness when making choices.
Confidence-boosting: Someone who can pep you up when you are down with reminders of the greatness they see in you.
You may find that you have one friend who is skilled at offering support in 3 or even 4 of the above situations. More commonly, however, you'll find that some friends and contacts are particularly skilled at 1 of the above scenarios while others are better at a different one.
Having the right people to reach out to, and knowing when to reach out to whom, is a key component of resilience. There's nothing worse than reaching out to someone because you just want to unload your frustration about something, and the person who you reached out to spends the entire time talking and advising you rather than just listening.
There are other important components of building resilience, including taking care of your physical, nutritional, and recovery needs in a healthy and sustainable way. It's also important to have strategies for emotional regulation that allow you to approach stress from calm and grounded emotions rather than highly reactive and wired ones.
Knowing your purpose and your "Personal Why" helps with continuing to endure difficult personal or professional challenges and generating energy to keep going.
You can find out more about these elements as well as the other ones above, in my masterclass on "How to Handle Stress Before It Happens" (stay tuned for information about its release).
Examples of Resilience in Everyday Life
Since prevention is better than cure, try to find daily opportunities where you can practice strengthening your resilience muscle before you need to use it for real. The key is to do the work in advance so that you can gain confidence and sharpen your toolkit for the bigger avalanches that then come your way. Journaling, conversations with friends, reading books, podcasts, and taking time for regular reflection are all ways to do this.
As you develop those tools, you may even find that you look forward to then applying them and seeing how balanced you can stay when you face harder situations such as:
Overcoming a setback at work: When you face a work-related challenge, whether a new project or some feedback from a colleague, with resilience you are able to assess the situation, identify solutions, and push through it despite the obstacles.
Adapting to a major life change: Whether it's a job loss, relocation, or the end of a relationship, your resilience toolkit helps you navigate these changes with adaptability and a more positive outlook.
Recovering from a failed relationship: You’re able to process the emotions associated with a breakup, learn from the experience, and move forward with your life.
Coping with or adjusting to the loss of a loved one: Although grief can be overwhelming, resilience allows you to gradually heal and find ways to honor cherished memories of your loved one while moving forward.
Final Thoughts
When it comes to your mindset, prevention is better than cure. By actively working on your mental well-being when you're healthy, you're setting the stage for long-term success and resilience. Having a proactive mindset helps you navigate life's challenges more effectively and contributes to a higher quality of life overall.
With that in mind, remember that mental well-being is a lifelong journey, so be patient with yourself as you learn and grow. Since reaching a state of mental health perfection is neither realistic nor helpful, shift your expectations and instead celebrate your process and progress as you continue to build resilience, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence.
Don't wait for life to become (even more) challenging before focusing on your mental well-being. Prevention is better than cure. Take the first step by implementing the strategies I've outlined above. Invest in your mental health now, and you'll have a greater ability to handle whatever life throws your way, both today and in the future.
References:
Aventis Learning Group - What Is Proactive Thinking? How to Be Proactive? - https://aventislearning.com/proactive-thinking/
American Psychological Association - Resilience - https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience#
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