Making conversations with people you don't particularly like can be tricky, but it is important to work on this skill, as this will happen often throughout your life and work. When this happens to me or my clients, there are three steps I take to get through this.
The first step is to notice the voice of judgment in your head. As long as that inner voice is speaking, you’re not listening to the other person; you may as well take a moment to focus on it and deal with it. What is it about that person that truly annoys you and what is it inside you that is triggered by this? Remember that what we find annoying in others is subjective and says more about who we are than who the other person is.
The next step is to suspend the voice. Imagine it is like a jacket you are wearing and that you can take off and temporarily hang on a chair. It doesn’t mean you can’t put it on again later. But for this moment, aim to pause it. Focus on getting through this particular conversation without judging it the entire time. Even small moments where you are not judging may allow you to discover something you actually like or find interesting about the person or topic.
The final step is to use the moments when you are not judging to listen to the conversation with an open mind. Be curious and truly try to understand why the other person believes what they do. Everyone is different and having different opinions is human. If you are struggling with the conversation, let them do the talking and keep your contributions short and polite. Try to think of something or ask curious questions to find what you both might have in common; this could be a mutual friend, maybe you have a shared hobby, or maybe you work in similar roles. Topics to avoid would be sensitive subjects such as politics, religion and even covid.
If you keep an open-mind, your opinion of this person might even change. If not, and if you’ve tried your best to find connection, then that’s okay too. We don’t have to get along with everyone.